W9 - Discussion Question # 1

I would have to say that the “hearing” phase of listening is probably the most difficult for me, especially at work. While I can biologically hear what is being said, a lot of times my mind is in a million directions and I am always preoccupied with one thing or another. For example, today was a really busy day at work and we had a constant flow of customer traffic all day. I am known for always multi-tasking and often can be found on the phone, e-mail, and talking to someone in person all at the same time! When one of my staff members came up to me and asked me a question, I kind of rushed them a long and asked them to get to the meat of the message, instead of giving them a chance to let them tell me the whole story because I was so engrossed with everything else that was going on around me. Come to find out, I gave the wrong information to my employee and I had to spend even more time to fix the issue because I was not really “listening” to what they were trying to tell me. Luckily, I can honestly say that this type of incident doesn’t happen often; however, it does happen once in a while and it is something that I need to work on. While multi-tasking is great for handling hands on types of duties, I’ve come to realize that you cannot multi-task when it comes to listening. It is important to give your full attention to someone when they are trying to tell you something because that way you can make sure that you heard the entire content of the message and also give the correct feedback.

W9 - Discussion Question # 2

We are all guilty of selective attention – listening only to the bits and pieces of a message that are of interest to us. One area in my life where I continually struggle with selective attention is at work. In my current position, my primary responsibility is to ensure that the operational integrity is upheld to our company standards and also making sure that my staff is also in compliance. However, with the economic downturn we have been focusing on sales in order to help us grow the business and stay afloat. Because I have not had a hand in helping to increase our sales or participated in training my staff in sales, I have lost touch and have become indifferent to the sales aspect of our business. I have found that in meetings or in discussions with my peers that I tend to zone out when they mention sales and yet I will pay very close attention to anything that deals with the operations side of my job. I think the main reason why I have this selective attention when it comes to discussions about sales is because I have no interest in the subject. Within the recent months, I think I have gotten a lot better about not automatically tuning anything out that is related to sales because I have begun to understand the importance of sales as it relates to operations and the overall growth and stability of our business. I think it is helpful for anyone to improve on their selective attention if they are able to understand the importance of what is being said.

W9 - Discussion Question # 3

One concept that I found useful and interesting was in regards to receiving feedback. I think that most people are weary to receive feedback because they assume that the feedback will always be negative. Even to this day, when I have to meet with someone in regards to either my school, or work performance, I get nervous for what I am about to hear. For the most part, I have found that the feedback I receive from others is for my benefit and they are telling me the things they tell me so that I can improve my performance. In addition, I think a lot of our reaction to receiving feedback comes from our previous experiences and also who is actually delivering the message. For example, I feel very comfortable receiving feedback from my manager at work because I have worked under her for the last five years, and I know that whatever she says has my best interests in mind; however, if I were to receive feedback from one of my classmates who I may not know too well after giving a speech or presentation, I will feel more anxious about what they are about to say. Ultimately, I think that receiving feedback is just as important as giving feedback because we will be able to use our experiences and hopefully learn from them so that when we give feedback to others, it will be more effective and helpful.

W7 - Discussion Question # 1

The first principle of nonverbal communication which stood out to me was the first principle which is “that the quality of the relationships among group members is established and perpetuated through nonverbal behavior” (pg. 114). Since a majority of communication is actually given through nonverbal communication cues, it is important to remember that with all of our actions there will be a reaction and it can heavily impact the relationships we form within our small group. For example, if you are in a group and you notice someone who is always late, looks disinterested, and sits far away from the group, it will lead you to assume that they do not care to be a part of the group and therefore it will change the relationship that you have with them. In addition, when you have to communicate with this particular group member, it will be a lot different than when you communicate with the group members who seem to be more involved with the group causing further disintegration of the relationship.



The second principle of nonverbal communication that I found interesting was the eighth principle which states that, “We will have greater success in using the principles of nonverbal communication if we concentrate on improving our own actions” (pg. 115). I think that many times we forget that perception is everything and that when working with a small group it is important to remember to be aware of our own nonverbal messages. For example, I tend to have a naturally stoic and sometimes angry, looking facial expression even when I am not angry. However, when working with a new group of people who do not know that I naturally look the way I do, they may misinterpret me and think that I am upset all the time. So, in order to make my group feel at ease, I have to make a conscious effort to try to “soften” my facial expression, by smiling more, or nodding in agreement when others are talking. By understanding my own nonverbal communication deficiencies, I feel that I have a better understanding and can make more of an effort in improving my nonverbal communication skills.

W7 - Discussion Question # 2

Proxemics is “the individual boundary individuals draw around themselves” (pg. 117), also known as “personal space”. Unfortunately, I do not think there are universal rules regarding proxemics since every culture interprets personal space differently. I would have to say the exception to that rule would be romantic relationships because as far as what I know, it is acceptable to be in close physical contact with your romantic partner in the public or private sphere, no matter what culture you are from.



Personally, I value my personal space, more so that most people. I am known amongst my friends not being touchy-feely and I rarely like to give or receive hugs or really show any physical affection for that matter. A couple of years ago, a new manager came on board and she happened to be extremely “friendly” and would always greet me with a hug and kiss me on the cheek. At first, I would let it go because she was new and I did not want to offend her; however, after a few more times I started to feel really uncomfortable and decided I would tell her that I do not like to “physically” greet people. It was awkward to confront her on this matter, but luckily she was understanding and explained to me that in her culture (Persian) it is customary to greet people in this matter and apologized for any discomfort she may have caused me. I still see her from time to time at different work functions and she has continued to respect my need for my personal space.


“Chronemics is the study of the use of time” (pg. 119). The text went onto describe how Western culture values time because “time is money” (pg. 119). I agree with the Western views on time and time management, because I think that time is valuable and it is something that you cannot get back once it is lost. In comparison to other cultures, I think part of the reason for our emphasis on time is the fact that we live in an individualistic culture, whereas collectivist cultures (e.g., Asian, Hispanic) are family focused and are less time bound. In addition, collectivst cultures aren't driven on the idea that a minute lost is equivalent to a dollar being lost. While being on time is important for most business related situations, it is not of the utmost importance in other areas of your life.

W7 - Discussion Question # 3

One concept which I found interesting in this past week’s reading was in regards to sex-role stereotyping. It’s funny how the text states that, “women are more effective as managers and leaders in the areas of motivating others, fostering communication, producing high-quality work, and listening to others” (pg. 121); yet, when we take a look at the management structure of the companies out there, women in executive positions are still scarce. I personally still agree with the old adage that “it’s a man’s world,” and many men are threatened by powerful women and therefore women executives are far and few. In addition, when women are at the top of the corporate ladder, people assume they have either “slept” their way to the top or that they have gotten to where they are because they are “aggressive” (substitute for the “B” word). I think slowly but surely, women are being recognized for their leadership capabilities; however, we still have a long way to go before it is common and acceptable to have just as many women, if not more, in executive positions.