The function of norms in a group is like “having a map, or traveler’s guide, for navigating the territory of group behavior and processes” (pg. 46). Group norms help group members feel like they belong and have a standard of how they should behave and interact with each other which will help to the groups’ cohesiveness. I think many religious organizations have group norms. For example, in the church I grew up every one always dressed up on Sundays. The adults would wear their suits and dresses, and the children would wear their nicest, cleanest clothes. Everyone was all smiles and would not bring their problems into the church. Even if my mom and dad fought in the car on the way to church, once they stepped out onto the pavement, they were a happy, church loving couple. It was really strange now that I think about it, because it was like a big production and everyone was an actor; but, it was a norm none the less. Everyone I knew growing up in my church was the same way.
It’s funny but one violation of a norm that comes to mind is when I went to my friend’s graduation last year. He went to conservative Baptist church for school and the women in the congregation don’t wear pants, they are expected to wear skirts or dresses (I could get into why, but that’s a whole other issue). Anyway, I never ever wear skirts or dresses and so when I went to his graduation, I felt completely out of place, because myself and one other woman were the only ones to wear pants in the whole auditorium of a few hundred people (I kid you not! I looked intently for other women who were wearing pants so I wouldn’t feel out of place). While the women of his church/school were really gracious and hospitable, I could tell that they were also mildly uncomfortable that I was wearing pants as it is a violation of their norm. However, what they probably didn’t realize was that I was just as uncomfortable if not more because I was not dressed like they were. I decided that in the future, if I ever go there again for anything, it’d probably be in my best interest to try to fit into their norm so that I avoid any feelings of discomfort.
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Hey I just wanna tell you I'm glad you've brought up a place where there definitely are some strong, unusual norms, church. I've noticed many of the same things when I go to church. One of the most perpetuated norms, and one that sometimes annoys me the most, is the small talk. Although its definitely not all bad, most people us it as a quick way to show they care, and move on. And you put it perfectly, "Everyone was all smiles and would not bring their problems into the church.". I think this is why the small talk bothers me, because although it is supposed to be a trusting community people still seem slightly nervous about really opening up. I agree with you that this is a type of norm at the church, that you don't bring up the things that are really bothering you. Its too bad.
ReplyDeleteHello GCL
ReplyDeleteI always enjoy reading your posts because you are able to relate the readings to your own experiences very well. I like that you brought up church and the norms. I attend worship service every Sunday so this was something I could definitely relate to. The "dresscode" is definitely a norm as each congregation varies. I have been to some places where everyone dresses up from head-to-toe. I have also been to others where it's more business casual. Until you go there or talk to someone about these norms (prior to attending), you may feel or look out of place at first.
I am sorry to hear about what happened at your friends graduation. Many people I am sure have been in your shoes with several different or similar violations of norms. I guess we do not realize the importance of norms until we are in situations like these!
Hi GCL,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading post very much. I like your example about your church. I think church is a great place to observe group norms and I love your example about your mom and dad fighting in the car. I love it because I experienced the same thing. When we are having family gathering with my grandparents and other relatives, my mom and dad always put on an act as a loving couple in front of everyone when they are arguing. My family as a group is very family-oriented and we believe argumentation cannot be displayed in front of people. The norm is like a guide and my parents are behaving according.
-Sogo
I, myself, have never been to church before but I know how strict they can be especially about appearance. It was surprising to see that the church wouldn’t be as accepting since it was your first time going to that specific church. And I also thought they would help you be more comfortable since a church usually welcomes everyone. I had a similar experience when I went to a Buddhist church. I wasn’t sure if it was ok to wear shoes inside but when a monk mentioned to take off my shoes I did fast as I could so I could be respectful to the church.
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